And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

Ephesians 4:24, The Message

Ongoing transformation is not only the norm for the Christian—it is, arguably, the entire goal of the Christian life. So, how does God go about “reproducing his character in you?”

The founding pastor of the church at which I worked for two decades would remind us frequently that God uses two main tools to shape us:

pain and waiting.

Such are the tools of all transformation—exposure to the elements that steadily chip away at us and erode our outer layers over extended periods of time.

Sounds comfortable, right?

 

I know a thing or two about pain and waiting.

And about being uncomfortable.

And about not wanting to be uncomfortable.

More than a decade ago, a good friend was praying for me and saw in her mind an image of Jesus kneeling before me, offering me a ring box.

Within that box was the most beautiful gold ring I’d ever seen. It was a large, perfect pearl, surrounded entirely by a starburst of brilliantly cut diamonds. It was stunning. And I was completely in awe.

So I sat there for a moment, looking at that ring, not able to raise my gaze, not knowing what to say—and I wondered what, exactly, this picture meant.

I knew that pearls, biblically, were symbolic of wisdom.

And I also knew, of course, that diamonds are the hardest mineral known to man and are said to be rare.

And gold—well, we all know how the value of gold has risen dramatically in recent years.

That all sounds lovely, right?

But what did it MEAN?

As if reading my thoughts, my friend asked softly if I knew what the ring represented.

I sat quietly for a moment, wracking my brain, not wanting to give your basic “Sunday school” answer.

No, I finally told her, I did not.

Well… she began,

I believe this ring is significant for you because of how each of these pieces are formed.

She took a deep breath before she continued, then let the words all come out in one big, long, sigh of an answer:

Pearls are formed by sustained irritation over time.

Diamonds are formed by sustained pressure over time.

And gold is refined by fire.

 

I looked at her.

I looked at Jesus.

I looked back at her.

I do not want this ring,

I said.

As a professional clinical counselor who has worked in the field of Christian Counseling for over 25 years and who is also certified as a Spiritual Director, I believe THIS is where we really get into the GOOD STUFF. THIS is where the true power for transformation lies.   And while much of the work to be done takes much of the same form as non-spiritual formation, there are definitely a few, very important exceptions.

This first is that we begin and operate from an entirely different point of reference. The specifics may vary, but we all basically believe that we were each created with great care and intentionality by a loving God who wants good things for us and who has gone to great lengths, at great personal expense, to demonstrate just how much he loves us.

The second is that we choose to believe that even though life is often hard—sometimes VERY hard—this loving, personal God is still good despite the prevalence of bad (you can read more about this here) and is working WITHIN the bad for our own personal GOOD, in order to glorify himself to both us and others.

And the third is that we know through both anecdotal and scientific experience and evidence that the love of this God can be an actual REAL, FELT EXPERIENCE—and that experiencing it CHANGES US.

This means that, as a Christ-follower, there are additional tools (and infinite power) that I can bring into our coaching experience that have the potential to facilitate deep healing and exponential growth.

These additional tools might include but are by no means limited to:

• Spiritual direction
• “Inner healing” prayer
• Imaginative prayer rooted in scripture
• Guided prayer and meditative exercises
• Exercises and homework that tie the right and left sides of our brain together to make what we know in our “mind” to be true about God actually FEEL true in our spirit.
• Tools to help experience God’s presence and build relationship
• Bringing the voice of God directly into the coaching sessions

Now, to some of you, this probably sounds a little “woohooie.” A little “out there.” A little, well, unbelievable.

 

But TBH, everything I do, whether it is labeled as “Christian” or not, is biblically aligned and is facilitated through a combination of following my training, my gut, and the Holy Spirit. Likewise, many of the “tools” in the list above can be adapted and are entirely appropriate for those who embrace many different forms of spirituality.

 

Or none at all.

Everyone gets a spiritual formation. It’s like education. Everyone gets an education; it’s just a matter of which one you get.

Dallas Willard

Whether spirituality means, for you, transcendence, the interior life, living more contemplatively, appreciating nature and the natural world, or a particular spiritual practice or faith tradition, many people are longing to become centered and grounded in such a way that enables them to look beyond themselves, experience hope and beauty, and find meaning EVEN IN THE DARKEST experiences of their lives.

 

Whether you are experiencing spiritual yearning or spiritual disillusionment, transformational coaching can help you:

• Examine deep longings for beauty, awe, meaning, and/or purpose and discover where the pursuit of them leads you
• Unite your inner and outer self, making space for discernment, connection, and authenticity
• Explore a particular tradition or belief system for the purpose of personal or spiritual formation
• Learn how to pursue and engage in a deeper, more meaningful experience of your personal spiritual practice or expression
• Consider and evaluate your formative religious and/or spiritual experiences to determine how your “personal theology” is presently shaping you

As a practicing follower of Jesus, I can also help those exploring or engaged with Christianity to:

• Explore doubts, questions, deconstruction, and crises of faith without shame or judgment
• Engage in spiritual practices that create Christ-like character formation, not just behavioral change
• Learn ways to interact with and experience God that form deep, relational intimacy with the Trinity
• Walk through a “Dark Night of the Soul” or “The Wall” in way that strengthens rather than undermines your faith
• Develop a greater discernment and ability to hear and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit/will of God

 

If your faith is an integral and important part of your life, I can help bring it into the heart of your transformation process, where it belongs.

 

And when we do so…

That changes EVERYTHING.