I don’t pretend to have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.
—Arthur C. Clarke—
I empower women of all ages to effectively navigate difficult life experiences in ways that RE-form them from the inside out.
What this process looks like in actuality is unique to the individual and fully depends on your specific situation and what you want to get out of our time together.
But this is a general idea of how working together would flow:
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the first step: where to begin?
We begin with the question that brought you into the coaching process, which is usually brought up by one or more of the following challenging issues:
- Chronic Pain or Illness (What is wrong with me?)
- Transition (How do I get through this?)
- Grief and Loss (Will I ever get over this?)
- Trauma (Will I ever feel okay again?)
- Spirituality (Where is God in all of this?)
- Purpose and Calling (Why am I even here?)
- Identity (Who am I NOW?)
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step two: you talk, i listen
As your transformational coach, I’m listening to this question that brought you to me within the context of what I would consider to be the four foundational goals of transformational coaching:
- Understand what has shaped and formed the person you are today;
- Consider how your “first formation” determines how you’re currently reacting/responding to your life;
- Gain clarity on the RE|formation that needs to take place—who it is that you desire to become through this process;
- And then work together with great intentionally to bridge the gap between your first formation and your desired RE|formation.
(If you’re familiar at all with the Enneagram, you’ll immediately see it’s unique ability to help us understand how our early formation shapes us and the way it reveals a pathway forward toward RE|formation—assisting us with all four goals of transformational coaching. You can read more about the Enneagram and how I draw it into my process here.)
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Step three: RE|formation begins
These four foundational goals break down into a process we will walk through together—a “Circle of RE|formation,” if you will—the steps of which look a little like this:
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(continued)
The circle begins with a difficult life experience and, when deliberately engaged with, results with a realignment of both your inner and outer lives:
- RUPTURE
- REACTION
- RESISTANCE
- REALIZATION
- RISK
- RECKONING
- REVELATION
- RELINQUISH
- The work of Inner RE|formation
- REALIGNMENT
If you like, you can read a bit more about this process here.
How does this happen?
A RE|formational process happens best when we:
- develop a reflective lifestyle in which we are mindful and self-aware.
- see ourselves and others accurately, without shame or judgment.
- embrace responsibility for our actions and beliefs and make necessary corrections, apologies, or amends.
- allow ourselves to feel our feelings without shame, suppression, or self-medication.
- accept what IS and surrender to that which is greater than ourselves.
- identify and challenge the deeply rooted, self-limiting belief systems by which we unconsciously operate.
- learn to attach in new and better ways to loving, mature people we want to emulate (including spiritual figures, like God or Jesus or nature or the universe)
- practice self-compassion and learn to receive grace.
- trust and surrender to the process.
Transformation happens on the other side of surrender.
In Transformational Coaching, I tend to draw from the following modalities:
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Positive Psychology
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Trauma-Informed Therapy
Spiritual Direction/Formation
Enneagram Coaching
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Appreciative Inquiry (AI)
Motivational Interviewing (MI)
Emotional Freedom Technique
Models of Bereavement
Arts-based Modalities
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Neuropsychology
Systems Theory
Lifespan Development
Emotional Intelligence
Attachment Theory
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Neurotheology
Contemplative Spiritual Practices
Stages of Spiritual Formation
Formational Prayer
Inner Healing Prayer
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
—Socrates—