What is transformational coaching?
Transformation is an ongoing process that tends to appear ordinary, when, in fact, something extraordinary is taking place.
Suzy Ross
The challenge, when defining transformational coaching, is communicate clearly the difference between “transformation” and “change,” as the magic happens within this narrow space.
Transformation is, by definition, a thorough or dramatic change in form or character—a “metamorphosis,” of sorts. We become something utterly different than we once were.
But although we change all the time—the way we look, our opinions, the way we feel, our actions and interactions, or even our behavior or our attitude—that doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve been transformed.
The rain and the foot traffic at my favorite hiking spot in Southern Ohio changes the sandstone cave season by season, as does the work of young lovers carving their initials all over its surface. But it took something more to transform it into the cavernous gorge in the first place—it took great floods from the melt of the Wisconsin Glacier to flush away the soft middle layer between the hard capstone layers of Black Hand Sandstone that were deposited and created over millions of years by the Atlantic Ocean, creating the tunnels that eventually transformed into the gorges we now hike every year.
And now, what was once flat land is the rock-strewn foothills of the Appalachian Mountain Range—its entire shape and character dramatically altered forever.
You see, change and transformation are not one and the same.
Because, while all transformation is change, not all change is transformation.
Real, meaningful transformation, in our present culture, is unfortunately a relatively rare occurrence. Most people, looking back over their lives, can only identify, at best, perhaps two or three times they can honestly say they “transformed”—that they went through a period of thorough or dramatic change in form or character.
Transformational coaching is designed—for those who truly desire it—to help people RE|form their lives at the deepest levels, not just on the surface. To tunnel below mere behavioral modifications (what we DO) and carve out deep, lasting change at the character level (who we ARE).
We do this by taking advantage of difficult, formative experiences that naturally occur in life and engaging with them in an intentional way that allows YOU to determine how they ultimately transform you and your life.
All change is not growth,
as all movement is not forward.
Ellen Glasgow
So, let’s lay the groundwork: as I’ve alluded to, transformation is a process that involves the whole person and it happens in many “layers” over time.
As all the stuff of life happens, you are beginning to form, from a very early age, the patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that are to become the unconscious set of beliefs that shape your life. This “first formation,” if you will—not unlike the formation of sedentary rock over time—is in heavy production until sometime in your early 20s, creating the foundation of your character and identity.
But we know that even once rocks are formed, they don’t stay the same. There are forces that change them over time. That RE-form them. Rain. Wind. Waves. Heat. Ice. Current. Interaction with other elements. Glaciers melt and floods sweep away that which hasn’t hardened.
And the same is true for US.
Even after your critical stages of development end in those early to mid-20s, you are constantly experiencing this same re-formation throughout your entire life—shaped by the culture around you. The media. Social media. Your relationships. Your gendered experiences. Your racial and ethnic experiences. Your socioeconomics. And the way you experience your deepest emotions—fear, shame, grief, anger, and desire.
You cannot escape re-formation—no more than you can escape your “first formation.”
So, the question, then, is this:
Do you know what’s shaping you?
And do you like the change you see?
This is where RE|formation Coaching can help in three very powerful ways:
1. The first part of RE|formation is deciding which parts of your early formation are worth keeping and which no longer serve you. What beliefs, patterns of relating, emotional responses, inner dialogues, or ways of interacting with the world do you want to CONSCIOUSLY take with you as you grow and mature through challenging experiences? And which ones have got to go? YOU get to decide what you carry forward. RE|formation Coaching can help.
2. Second, RE|formation Coaching can help you be intentional about ongoing formation by helping you curate the things you choose to include or exclude from your life—personally, professionally, relationally, and spiritually. You actually can have a say in what will shape you moving forward and seek out the RE|formation you desire for your future. Even in the midst of adversity, uncertainty, or pain.
3. And finally, as you encounter the ups and downs of life, RE|formation Coaching can help you learn how to respond to the most difficult formational forces you face—loss, transition, illness, pain, identity crises, spiritual deconstruction, the lingering effects of trauma—in a way that aligns with, supports, and even furthers the ongoing formation YOU desire.
We admire and delight in the beauty of the diamond, the pearl—but we rarely admit the changes they have gone through to achieve such beauty.
In order to do this, transformational coaching takes a multi-disciplinary approach, bringing together the best of coaching theory, psychology, neurology, spirituality, and so much more.
THIS is the uniqueness of transformational coaching—because it embraces the elements of many different disciplines and philosophies it has the benefit of going beyond addressing mere performance or development to a deeper level where assumptions, beliefs, expectations, and attitudes all come together to be understood and challenged.
And as a result, Transformational Coaches can work with much more complex issues than other coaching models.
So how WOULD we, then, describe the framework for transformational coaching?
Transformational coaching is:
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Psychological
We explore your life both inside and out: their beliefs, values, expectations, assumptions, and psychological patterns that guide how you show up in life or the workplace, thereby offering the potential to transform and update your map of the world. -
Spiritual
We build on the assumption that BECAUSE YOU ARE MADE IN GOD’S IMAGE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING THEY NEED to create transformation. The coach is not the expert, does not have the answers, and will not give advice. Rather, I show up in partnership with you, supporting positive dialogue to realize your own inner wisdom. -
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Integrative
Drawn from a wide range of schools of thought, it enables coaches like myself to find our own unique, psychologically and spiritually grounded way of working with folks like you. Different coaches may develop preferences for a particular way of working, but all will bring their own unique presence to the relationship, offering them both breadth and depth in how to work with others. -
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Holistic
Coaches learn to pay attention to all aspects of your experience—the cognitive, affective, somatic, relational, and behavioral dimensions. We listen for what you say, how you say it, and what you’re omitting. We look for patterns of language or behavior. We notice emotional or physiological changes—cheeks coloring, breath quickening, hands wringing. All of this is valuable data to aid in guiding your RE|formation. -
Focused on the Root
The intent of transformational coaching is to get to the heart of the matter, because if we work at the root, the power of the coaching keeps working long after the sessions have ended. It enables you to attend to the structures which underlie your sense of self (who you believe you are) and then, through deeper exploration, to reach even higher levels of existence (who you desire to be). -
Insight-Based but Action-Oriented
Through the awareness transformational coaching reveals, there is much more potential for you to unlock bigger transformative shifts, break down the negative patterns or beliefs that may have held you back and—most importantly—open up the path to achieve the outcomes or changes you genuinely want to see in your life.
Learn more about how I use transformational coaching to help you navigate difficult life experiences in ways that RE-form you from the inside out.
A wise person is like a smoothly polished rock: it takes time to become either.
Vera Nazarian